News & Reference

The Speed of Light, Dog Poo and a Wild Hare

Tastings & Food Pairings

The B'Oracle   |   Wednesday, February 08 2012

Spoetzl Brewery's Wild Hare Pale Ale :  It is the measurable constant in the beer world, much like the speed of light.

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The only constant in the universe is 186,000 miles per second. That's the speed of light in a vacuum. In other words, it can complete 7 trips around the Earth before you finish blinking your eyes. Pretty crazy isn’t it? This constant (c) is used throughout the world of physics and has a prominent place in the famous equation E=mc². The comedian Stephen Wright once pondered this question: If you’re traveling the speed of light and turn your lights on, will they work? That's a pretty funny question to ask, but not really worth pondering. In my world, what's really important and worth pondering is: if you’re plunging to Earth in an elevator with Dolly Pardon, will you see her face? Now that's heavy stuff. Anyway, that's just one second, care to guess how far light will travel in a year? Try 5.8 trillion miles, so by taking this constant scientist use it to measure things like distance, speed, and size. If you want to really scare yourself, you can even measure the federal deficit. But in Shiner, Tx the only constant they measure is quality. In this case that quality comes in the form of Wild Hare Pale Ale.

Nestled in a large German enclave in south central Texas, Spoetzl Brewery has been producing high quality brew since 1909. In a way, they were craft before craft was, well craft. There’s a certain trust that Beer Lovers have to have when they are ready to open an unfamiliar bottle. Emotions can range from pure euphoria to the sheer terror of stepping in a pile of dog poo. If you’re not in heaven then you’re either scouring the Earth looking for the stick to get the crap off your shoe or the water hose, the choices are drastic, but at least you’re not in Paris (considered dog poo capital of the world).

Shiner is the crown jewel of Texas Brews. In 1909, there was enough ambient light for people on Earth to view Halley’s Comet with the naked eye, but I’m sure they struggled a little more in Shiner, because of the brightness of Spoetzl Brewery. With German knowhow and American ingenuity, you just couldn’t go wrong.

You’re a little nervous with the reddish brown label, but when you pour the beer into a cold glass, you feel that instant wave of security wash over you. Wrapped in my blanket of security, I study the subject in front of me. With waves of gold, red, rust and blue churning against each other, you hold your breath in anticipation of the outcome. Seconds later, you exhale in relief at the picture of red gold standing in front of you. With a firm head of brilliant white crowning the beer, you almost forget to take your next breath. With my snout tingling with anticipation I discover a cover of floral hoppy sensations blanketing the beer. Underneath the blanket you get citrus, crème brule, slight leather and malt. Those aromas are layered throughout the experience. I know now that I won’t be looking for that stick to clean my hoof.

With a wonderful balance between malt, citrus and the hops, the beer confronts you with a wonderful challenge. It’s not what can you pair with it, but where can you go wrong? It’s kind of like looking at that photo of Raquel Welch from One Million Years B.C.; she looks so good in her loin cloth bikini that you don’t even think of her without it. Every sip is an opportunity to fall in love again.

The great thing about foraging for food is that your travels during the search deliver you to unexpected destinations. I was in the Klondike when I arrived at one of those places. Sitting in the bedrock of a vibrant stream digging for grubs, I look up to see grizzlies standing in the rush of water snatching up salmon as if they were in a buffet, a dietary adjustment was on the way. Although I love salmon, I felt Mako Shark with sautéed spinach and Chinese mustard beurre blanc was a better fit. The firmness of the flesh and slight oils are a perfect match for the citrus and hops, with the bitter qualities of the spinach and Chinese mustard coming together to form a perfect union with the malt. A fantastic culinary experience that I wanted to relive time and again, much like that picture. Wild Hare is the measurable constant in the beer world, much like the speed of light. It too is reliable.

During my travels on this rock I’ve seen and experienced a lot in the beer and food world, some were bad but most were great, that’s the pleasure of beer. I’ve learned over the millennia that life is tough in this place, and that you must take advantage of every opportunity to spread a positive experience. So The B’Oracle gives this one three tusks for all things that matter, but most of all, you don’t have to worry about choosing between a stick and a water hose. Enjoy