News & Reference

Teats and Grains: Either a Bar I’m told to Stay Away From or a Beer Worth Savoring

Tastings & Food Pairings

The B'Oracle   |   Wednesday, February 01 2012

Left Hand Milk Stout :  This beer's flavor is no less dynamic than the color.

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The tricky thing about domesticating animals is that you have to find a species that’s dumber than the one attempting the domestication. Having the opportunity to watch humanity attempt this endeavor was hilarity on a level not seen since “Springtime for Hitler”, I think the most disasterous attempt was when they tried the Honey Badger. Trying to get the thing to stand still was one challenge along with the fact that it just “doesn’t give a shit”. But they finally did get it right with cattle (8,500 years ago) and my more ignorant cousins the pig (7,000 years ago). It would be pure negligence on my part if I didn’t mention China’s epic struggle but eventual victory over the ill-tempered silk worm (3,500 years ago). But the real question is with wheat, yeast and beast of burden mixing together in the fields of our distant cousins, why was man so late getting to the table? It could be that he was busy tipping the dancers at the stage before the guys at Left Hand Brewing Company stepped in.

Hanging out in the Indian Peaks region of Colorado, they named the brewery after Chief Niwot whose tribe has been living here since man discovered sheep (for wool and milk I might add). Brewing quality craft beers since 1994 they haven’t looked back since, winning numerous awards as they’ve brewed some of the most innovative beers on the market to date. But the crown jewel of Left Hand Brewing Company is their Milk Stout. That’s right, you heard me, Milk Stout.

In the culinary field you are taught that people eat with their eyes and that color, in most cases, can be an indicator of good things to come. My years of foraging bear truth to that philosophy although, I must admit, that even though the Parrot is a pretty bird, it sucks on menu. So when you pour this beer into your glass, the first thing you notice is the silky texture. If you could pour black silk into a glass, this is what you’d see. After you clear the tears from your eyes, you notice the multitude of colors running through the glass. A polychromatic concoction of tan, dark brown, cream, maple and chocolate constantly battle each other for dominance only to lose out to a beautiful soft black body. When the beer settles, you are greeted with a head on top of the glass that has the color of tiramisu and the aroma of candy apples. My snout was in full-fledged river dance.

Over the years I’ve seen people take great risks for the sake of enjoyment. Perhaps my most disturbing experience was sitting next to Pee Wee Herman during an “R” rated feature... at least the outcome is in doubt, the feature was only “R” rated. Go further down the alphabet and the real trouble starts. So to the guys at Left Hand, the real risk is to continue along the same path that everyone else is on. But they know that in the wine business they’ve been using a process called “malo-lactic fermentation” to soften the big tannins in red wind for years. So why not beer, and a big stout no less. The flavor is no less dynamic than the color. Roasted almonds are the order of the day, followed by bitter chocolate, caramel, jasmine, and yes a slight butter feel from the milk sugar used during fermentation. I’m often reminded of my years in Colombia foraging for grub worms in the wild coffee orchards. Although I wouldn’t recommend grub worms here, I would go along with Nilgai Anteloupe with pan roasted quinoa and apple demi. The roasted almonds and caramel mesh well with the lean meat and the quinoa provides a platform for the coffee and butter to dance with the apple demi. You’d like to revisit this combination as often as possible, but it’s kind of like watching the academy awards, just a little more leaves you holding your stomach feeling like Dr. Evil in a spinning chair. Not sure what kind of calamity “Milk Stout Nitro (coming soon)” would create.

I give this beer 3 ½ tusk for flavor, feel, its ability to marry with food, and having enough balls to even sit next to Mongo and Taggart eating franks and beans while sitting around a campfire near the William J. Le Petomain Throughway which leads to a town called Rockridge. At least the guys at Left Hand would have the courtesy to bring “a shit-load of dimes”. Enjoy.